


Incorrect LoT quotes

by DovahCourts



Series: Incorrect Quotes [6]
Category: Constantine (TV), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23108071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DovahCourts/pseuds/DovahCourts
Relationships: John Constantine/Desmond, John Constantine/Gary Green
Series: Incorrect Quotes [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1401565
Kudos: 24





	1. I have an announcement to make

**Constantine:** I have an announcement to make. NERON IS A BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER, HE POSSESSED MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND- THAT’S RIGHT, HE TOOK HIS UNHOLY DEMON SOUL AND POSSESSED DESMOND-


	2. Is that wise

**John:** I’m gonna be honest, here…

 **Gary:** Is that wise?

 **John:** No. But I'm gonna do it anyways.


	3. Tell me more

**Random Girl:** This tree ate my boyfriend

 **John Constantine:** *taking notes* tell me more


	4. What if

**Gary:** Remember when we almost got blown up by a bomb?

 **John:** Yeah.

 **Gary:** What if those were the good times?


	5. Please stop.

**Damien Darhk:** Johnny C!

 **John:** Haha, yeah…

 **John, internally:** Please stop.


	6. Chapter 6

**John:** Alright that's enough.

 **Gary:** Funny that's not what you were saying last night.

**John:**

**John:** The student has surpassed the master


	7. Chapter 7

**John @ Lucifer:** You. Your vibes are rancid, horrible. Leave now.


	8. Chapter 8

**Gary:** *picks up a small animal*

 **Small animal:** *looks at him*

 **Gary:** *starts crying and telling John about the amazing thing that just happened*


	9. Sick son of a bigch

**Constantine:** Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?

 **Nate:** Yes.

 **Constantine:** I was hula hooping. Gary and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.

 **Nate:** Oh, my God.

 **Constantine:** I’ve mastered all the moves. [Shows photos on phone] The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle.

 **Nate:** Why are you telling me this?

 **Constantine:** Because no one will ever believe you. [Deletes photos from phone]

 **Nate:** You sick son of a bitch.


	10. I think you're really cool!

**Gary @ Constantine:** Hey! I think you’re very cool! I like you a lot! Maybe we could.. hang out… or- something…


	11. How I go on

**Constantine:** This is unfair.

 **Gary:** John, I literally saw you sitting on the counter shoving your face full of sweets at the speed of light, at 3 AM and you were shirtless and in your shorts.

 **Constantine:** Yeah, and that’s how I go on with my life.


	12. Bad boys

**Gary:** [wearing “bad boy” outfits] [standing with one foot on chair] I heard you like bad boys.

 **Constantine:** I’m neutral on that, actually, luv.

 **Gary:** [sigh of relief] Oh thank God.


	13. You're doing amazing!

**Constantine:** [Exorcises a demon]

 **Gary:** [crying] You’re doing amazing sweetie!


	14. Whats in the box?

**Gary:** [Walks in with a box] What if I told you I rescued puppies from Hell?

 **Constantine:** What’s in the box?

**Gary:**

**Constantine:** Gary, what’s in the box.

 **Gary:** I think you already know.


	15. I could kiss you

**Gary:** I could kiss you.

 **Constantine:** No, I could kiss Y O U.


	16. Scary parts

**Gary:** Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

 **John:** Okay.

 **Gary:** And make out during the scary parts?

 **John:** Th-

 **John:** The scary parts.

 **John:** Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.


	17. I burned myself

**Constantine:** I’m going to get soup.

 **Gary:** Be careful not to burn yourself, it’s hot.

 **Constantine, leaving the room:** Pff. I’m not going to burn myself.

[30 seconds later]

 **Constantine, entering the room:** I burned myself.


End file.
